Cross Country on a bike

I just arrived in New Jersey after riding Marc's bike to the new owner. I left after having BMW replace the battery there was no life left in the poor thing. Too bad! I guess that is what you get when you let a bike sit for so long not on a tender. Anyway, it is happily residing in a new garage in New Jersey after a real test of riding this week.

I left Seattle Wednesday morning in a brisk 45 F/5 C. Burrrr! to start my journey. My goal for Wednesday was rather ambitious. I wanted to reach Yellowstone by that night, about 800 miles/1200 km away. Needless to say. I didn't make it. The last long ride i did was in Europe at EP and I just couldn't make it. it did warm up to a beautiful temperature and was sunny. I just got tired and decided to stop. I am finding it hard to even remember where I was because i was so tired. Anyway, 600 miles East of Seattle. Maybe it was Butte, Mt. Yes that is it.

The plan was to get up and out early the next day to get to Yellowstone National Park and spend the day there. Well, when I woke up at 6:00 AM the temp was below freezing. So I waited until all the ice had melted from the bike and it had warmed up to 35 F/ 2 C. to get on my way. BURRRRRRRRRRR again but I wanted to get to Yellowstone. The ABS did not like the cold and would not engage for the first hour of my ride. When I stopped for gas the bike was then warmed up enough for them to function. I finally arrived at the West entrance of the park and spent the rest of the day tooling around inside the park. I saw so many animals including a bear, I think a black one. I have never been in that part of the country. It is simply magnificent. I took some pictures of course and I will send you a link later today. I am now trying to figure out how Duner could have left such a beautiful place and how I am going to get back there soon. I actually stayed in a cute little cabin in Mammoth Hot Springs in the park. It was kind of spendy but worth it because I was surrounded by elk. Pretty cool, a whole herd just hangs out on the lawn. However, one had to be very careful walking through the grass. Land mines you see!

The next morning was much warmer. My goal was to reach Mt. Rushmore. Seeing that I travel sans GPS I really only had a rough idea of how far that would be. I had also not really done the math to approximate accurately what time I would get there. What I thought would only take a few hours took all day. I arrived around 5PM. I must say though, I was very lucky the weather had been glorious all day long. Blue skys and coolish temps, perfect motorcycling weather. Everyone says that you just pull up to the mountain, see the four presidents, take a few pictures and then you leave. I have to agree,, that is exactly what I did, but it is still worth seeing. The best thing about this area is that somehow, South Dakota has managed to keep all the major fast food chains out of the towns in the surrounding area. What that means is that the towns have this very quaint feel to them, frontier like towns with an old fashioned saloon and all. They were a bit touristy but hey, what isn't now a days. However, I managed to find a very nice, very affordable hotel that cost less then the Super 8 Motel that I stayed in off the Highway in Butte. I had a great dinner at a place called Rudy's and then went to bed as i realized that the fun was over and I had to get some miles under my belt.

I woke early and was on the road by 7:00AM. I wanted to get to Chicago on Saturday. I drove 750 miles and was 180 short of Chicago. It was windy as hell Saturday and I was fighting a cross wind all day long. That can be so tiring. The best thing about traveling through MT, WY, SD, IO is that there is really nothing out there AND very few cops. So I was able to go about 90 mph/130kmh the whole day. I know this doesn't seem like much but here in the US that is huge and fast. I really wanted to arrive on Sunday in NJ. Stopping where I did meant that I would have a marathon day on Sunday.

I can now proudly say that I have an iron butt. You can all disagree if you want but on Sunday I rode 14 hours and almost 1000 mi/1600 km. I left Davenport, Iowa at 6:00 AM EST and arrived in NJ at 10:00PM EST. Lets just say my right hand is not so good today. There is a reason why people don't do that very often. Just call me the claw today. My right hand keeps falling asleep and i could barley bend my fingers this morning. I still can't believe that I did it. HAHA but now I have bragging rights.

The S was a trooper too. I just love that bike. It made it without any problems. It probably needs new tires though.

I found that traveling alone was rather nice too. I went at my own pace and speed, I got to stop whenever I wanted to and met some really cool people along the way. there is something to be said about being female, alone and riding a really sexy bike. :) It was a great trip.

Anyone know any jobs in Montana? I wanna go back!

An Update

Hi everyone. Here is an update on my life. I am in San Diego right now. I am on day 8 of taking care of my 2 little sisters (3 and 6 years old). Luckily my parents get back tonight. Whew! What I have learned from this week is that I am a great babysitter but this week has really amplified that I just don't want kids. Now hopefully my significant other will stay in agreement. I think he is OK with that idea too.

My long term plans are still on the same track that they have been for a while. I plan to spend some time in NYC as that it where my significant other lives right now. We are both going through some life changes and have to figure out where we will be after a year or so but right now we are just hanging out there. I have always wanted to live in NYC but the more I am there the more I think that I prefer San Francisco. The problem with New York is that it takes so long to get out of the city into nature. Where as in San Francisco you can get to some really beautiful places rather quickly. Plus, Golden Gate park is just bigger than Central Park and a little less creepy.

However, I do remember Cara being followed in the park one night after she had been looking for a place to have a BBQ the next day. She was so freaked out when she came home. It was really strange. I think she, unknowingly, had actually triggered some drug dealers and then when she didn't make contact with them they followed her. OR, maybe it was police, undercover, following her thinking that she was after drugs. Who knows. All I remember is that she was really freaked out and tried to lose them throughout the blocks in The Richmond District in SF.

But getting back on topic. I am in SD for another week, I might do a quick trip to Las Vegas but probably not, I am trying to save some money as the coffers are getting low. I just paid for my yoga teacher training which was not cheap and I still have to buy my tickets to Thailand and India next year. I also want to go to Tim Miller's studio Encinitas. He is a really famous Ashtanga Yoga guy. So I am looking forward to it.

I am planning to do some temp work in NYC until I go to Thailand in November for the first part of my training. I spend 6 weeks there doing an intense teacher training. It should be fantastic but hard.

Then back to the US for the holidays. Probably spend some time in Michigan and California with the respective families. Hopefully find another temp job in January. That might be a little more difficult. It is sometimes hard to find work in January. Who knows.

I am going back to Thailand in February then on to Mysore, India. Yes, more yoga. After that I hope to be at least practicing the whole primary series of Mysore style, Ashtanga yoga. Then I hope to get a job teaching in a studio to get some more experience. We will see. Who knows where I will be by then but that is the tentative plan.

News on the boy front. Yes, I am dating. I feel finally ready to do that. Before I went to Thailand I was a total mess but with the help of the yoga and a few special friends I really feel much better. I have identified my culpability in my failed marriage and have identified the things that I had no control over at all. So I am ready to move on and start dating someone new and know that I will not make the same mistakes again.

I never want to be in the situation that Marc put me in again. It just won't happen. I am being so much more careful this time and refusing to lose my identity.

That is me in a nutshell. :) oh yes, I am selling my car. So if any of you are interested in the Audi, then just let me know.

Yoga Thailand, Koh Samui May 27th, 2007

Koh Samui, Thailand Sunday, MAy 27th, 2007

Today has been a very strange day. I got up to practice after having a day off. I also had not really eaten much yesterday. I was tired very early in the practice. I was just dragging and my form was really bad. THEN something great happened. During the vinyasa series that one does throughout the practice I actually did the jump through. OK, more explanation is probably needed.

The vinyasa series it a series of 7 movements that you do between asanas (poses). One of the movements in that series is when you are in downward facing dog you exhale bend your knees you are supposed to swing your whole body and legs through your arms which are planted on the ground. It is very difficult and usually most people's feet and legs get stuck just as your feet are underneath your torso. Today, however, i actually did the jump through and my feet did not get stuck. I was able to actually get them through my arms to shoot out in front of me. This is a huge accomplishment. I thought I would never be able to do it. :)

So that actually re-energized me and I was able to finish the practice with confidence and zeal. It is so funny how your mind really plays tricks with you and if you let it it can bring you really far down. Anyway, I am happy and can't wait to practice again and try to get that to be a normal part of my practice.

Then we had breakfast and I relaxed a bit. I have just been really antsy today. I can't seem to keep still nor can I still my mind and get anything accomplished. Every time I sit down to read, I just can't. I am anxious about something. I just don't know what. I hope that doesn't mean something is brewing inside.

I went to the beach to swim and burn off some of this nervous energy but I still feel so antsy. Don't know.

Many of the people who were here last week left because the retreat was over. Now there are some new people here and the cycle starts over again. I am making an effort to really listen to people. Even though it is a challenge because I like to talk too. One of the main reasons I am trying to do this is because there is a girl here who talks incessantly. Never lets anyone get a word in edgewise. I find it really irritating. The reason, probably, because I have some very similar traits. I just hope that I am not that bad. Not that my or her stories are uninteresting it is just sometimes I want to hear what others have to say. It is a struggle but this is the perfect time to work on those things in myself because my life has been so totally altered.

I bid you all peace in all that you do and hope that you find joy in the little things we take for granted.

fiddling with some pictures

Here is a picture of the shala that we practice in every day. It overlooks the sea. So wonderful.

Thailand, Day 7. May 26th, 2007

Where is everyone? I feel lonely today. This week has been great though. At the beginning of the week I was so sore. My whole body was feeling the pain of doing a million yoga push ups, one after another. Thursday, I just pooped out in practice. I got to a certain point and was just unable to go on. Then on friday it was like I was a totally new person. It was great. I had the best practice yet all of my soreness has subsided and i feel strong. I was able to do many of the things that the practitioners had been saying all week to do to help your practice.

I was able to get deeper into my stretches and felt really good. My breathing is getting better and I am now taking a few less breathers in between poses. I feel good about the yoga. I wish I could stay here indefinitely. I might come back at the end of the year. I want to improve my current practice a lot and it will take time before my hips are open enough to move on from what I am doing so far.

Let me explain a little about the Mysore style of Ashtanga. The main difference of this style of Yoga to other styles is the focus on vinyasa, literally the intelligent putting together of things but taken in this style of asana practice as a variant of suryanamaskara practiced between asana. The practice is a defined set of postures always done in the same order, which are combined with specific breathing patterns (ujjayi breathing). The purpose of vinyasa is to create heat in the body, which leads to purification of the body through increased circulation and sweating. It also improves flexibility, which allows the student to practice advanced asanas with reduced risk of injury (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashtanga_Vinyasa_Yoga).

And heat it does add! Wow, I sweat buckets. I feel so much better for it too. I know in the morning sometimes i just don't want to practice but by the time I get the first 5 sun salutations done I am raring to go. It is a difficult work out but I like it because it is in a pattern so I can do it by myself when I leave here eventually.

Another thing that happened this week was that I quit my job. I will not be returning again. It was prompted by some drama but I am not going to get into the details here. It just isn't worth it. I feel great about it and I am happy that I am done. free and clear from that job. I am now trying to figure out how I can stay here for the long term. I do have to leave at the end of June as I have a trip in Europe planned. But I might come back towards the end of the year. I will have to change it up a little bit and find a cheaper place to live as living here is not sustainable long term here. That is unfortunate as it is a great place, the people are kind and considerate and the food is simply fantastic. So healthy and it really tastes good. I was worried the first day but the Thai people just know how to cook. It is all totally vegetarian and totally delicious. I just love it. I probably eat too much of it.

Goals for the week: Do Yoga (that one is easy) but use the techniques they have taught more efficiently; Don't worry about the other students' pace, worry only about how well I am doing each pose; Try to perfect at least 2 poses this week; and try to do the transition between chadarangadadasana and upward dog properly, i.e. not letting my pelvis touch the ground in the transition. That might take more than a week but I am going to make a concerted effort; be happy that I am in a fantastic place with great people who, yes are yoga geeks, but it is nice to have.

I truly wish everyone could come here and experience this with me. Although, it would probably be totally different for me if I was not here alone. I do invite everyone here, with or with out me. It is great for both beginners and experts as the teachers are amazingly patient and helpful. Especially with me because I have a terrible memory and always forget where I am in the practice and have to ask over and over again.

Thailand, day 4. May 22nd, 2007

Today was much of the same. I got a bit emotional during the breath work which made breathing kind of difficult, especially because my nose was all stuffed up. I am also terribly sore. My arms are killing me right now. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. The hundred Chadaranga (yoga push-ups) are killing me. It is a good sore though. It will all be worth it in a few weeks when i am rock solid. OK, maybe months.

I totally recommend this place. It is Yoga Thailand, you can google it. The teachers are great all really caring and helpful. The food is actually fantastic. i have not been left wanting for anything. Even though there are limitations the food is still excellent. It is not totally vegetarian though. They still use fish sauce and there was an entrée yesterday that had some fish in it. Otherwise, all vegetarian. I want to get a cook book from them because these dishes are fantastic. I could easily become vegetarian if the food all tasted like this.

the mosquitoes are a pain in the bootie. My skin does not like the deet but there is no avoiding using it. I hate the bites too. Luckily there is no Malaria in this area, but I think there is Dengue fever. I will use the deet. Yuck.

Wishes for tomorrow: for my muscles become less sore so I can do the full practice tomorrow, my boss write me an email saying that she has found another teacher for the 2 weeks I had agreed to teach in July so I don't have to go. Don't let the little things get me so upset. It is better now but still I should look more towards the positive not the negative. Even when stupid people are involved.

Thailand, Day 3. May 21st, 2007

Thailand, Day 3. May 21st, 2007

It is day 2 of the yoga retreat. Yesterday was great. A full morning practice, starting with an hour of breathing then a one and a half hour practice. I pooped out early though, i think, because of the heat and the sheer amount of sweat that was coming off my body. That is ok though. Then we had a lovely lunch and an afternoon stretch which was more like a Hatha class anyway. Whew. Then we all had a nice leisurely dinner. It is one of the girl's birthday so we had a cake and sang happy birthday to her.

It was a peaceful day and a good start to the week.

Thailand, Koh Samui, day one May 19th, 2007

After a really long night traveling from Beijing, China to Koh Samui, Thailand I finally arrived at Yoga Thailand this morning at 7:00AM. There are only really late night flights to Thailand from Beijing so so I had no choice but to take the 9:00PM flight to Bangkok. We arrived in Bangkok at 1:30 Bangkok time. it was only a 4 hour flight and I slept pretty much the whole way. Then I arrived in bangkok and had to wait until 6:00 AM for my next flight which would take me to the island. I didn't really mind the wait and figured I would stay in the airport seeing as though I only had a couple of hours to wait. That would have been ok, I could have curled up on some bench and taken a nap. Unfortunately the airport was a total iceberg. It was totally freezing. The temperature outside was a nice 25 degrees but inside they had the AC cranked. I pulled out everything I had in my bag to put on so I could try to get a little nap before the check in counter opened at 4:00AM. To no avail, I just could not fall asleep. Plus the chairs were metal and they too were freezing cold. I finally boarded the plane and was able to thaw out a bit. thank goodness.

So it was a short one hour flight to Koh Samui, a small island off of the Southwest coast of Thailand. The Koh Samui Airport is simply awesome. It is a thatched roof, that is it, no walls, no insane safety line, just the beautiful Thai mountains in the distance and beautiful scenery to look at. Everything is so green. It is so nice to be here it is peaceful and breathtaking

There was one other fellow who was picked up at the same time as me. He came on the same flight from Beijing too. He works for the Australian Embassy in BJ. So we were both rather dizzy with fatigue. My eyes are so red right now.

After only a short drive we arrived at the "hotel". A young Thai girl explained to me about how things work. Everything here is included in the price. It is a yoga retreat so we are going to be eating a yogic diet. I think this is great but I will have to venture out and get some good spicy food in a week I am sure. It is easier to explain what isn't in the cooking then what is. No meat, at all; no garlic, as it supposedly interferes with your concentration; no onions, not sure why; no hot spices, this will be difficult for me because i love spices. So basically brown rice and vegetables. I am not really worried as the breakfast was awesome this morning. Everything tastes so good. Maybe because I am in this paradise. No smoking or drinking on the premises too but there is a bar up the road. However I have never really needed booze. I had a few drinks with Don, one of my coworkers, on Thursday and it was no biggie and actually made me feel yucky the next morning.

We live in these little bungalows. Simple rooms, clean, no TV. We eat outside and do yoga in a huge-ish room. Although I have not done yoga yet. I saw some doing it this morning. I arrived too late to partake.

I ate breakfast with a few others and then a few of us sat around chatting. It was a nice morning. I then went back to the room to take a nap the lack of sleep was finally catching up with me. I slept almost 3 hours and feel a little groggy now but we are all to meet together for the introductory pow-wow in an hour or so.

Hopefully this time in Thailand will help me clear out my internal closets. I need to move on and cleanse. A few of the other girls that I have met seem really great with happy spirits. I am sure this will lend to the cleansing atmosphere that just envelopes one here. Goals this week: be happy, enjoy this amazing place and the joy that yoga brings into my life. Eat healthy! Keep to the diet, it will only help my state of mind; Don't feel guilty about my emotions, they are natural and it is good to feel them. Start to look to the future, stop living in the past and try to leave him behind; Look to the future and what it has in store for me, embrace it and don't be afraid of being alone. This will enable me to make better decisions for me and not for other people. Start doing what is best for ME, no one else. Bring joy back into my spirit.

Massive Attack

As I was walking on the helideck, listening to my ipod shuffling through a few of my favorite songs at lunch today I discovered something quite distressing. The album that has brought me a lot of joy over the past 7 years now only brings me abject sorrow. I love Massive Attack's Mezzanine, well, loved. It was the album Marc and I listened to over and over again when we first stayed at the Green Street apartment in San Francisco. It is truly a wonderful album. The music is powerful and really mesmerizing. I have always connected certain songs with periods of my life and this album makes me remember when Marc and I were first together. Now I can't believe it is all over and whenever I listen to those songs, even the first few bars of music start to play they make me so sad.

It is ruined for me. I will never be able to listen to this album that I loved so much at one time again without feeling such powerful grief. This truly saddens me.

At least no one can ever destroy Depeche Mode for me. I can always turn back to them for solace.

I guess I still just don't understand how cruel people can be to others. I will never understand that. I know I will recover from this one day. I hope that day comes soon but it feels like it will take an eternity to understand and accept this betrayal.

On the Rig

Hi everyone wow my emotions are so crazy. I am back on the rig and the first few days were shitty. I was so homesick which is kind of funny since I don't have a home. I miss being with my family and friends and coming back to China is always hard. I did realize last month off that I need to get out of this situation and fast. I have set up this limbo zone where I don't have to move on at all really and that is just not healthy. I guess I was still hoping, subconsciously, that Marc would get over his psycho period and realize what a terrible mistake he has made. He has not realized and is so totally self absorbed that he never will. Whatever! I guess I am done with that however reluctantly.

I told my boss I was done too and will finish this contract soon. I am also organizing a trip to Thailand, where I have wanted to go for a while. The first 10 days will be at a Yoga retreat. I can't wait even though it is going to be terribly hot. It should be fun and then after, I am not totally sure. I am flying into Bangkok then directly to Ko Samui which is an island off the Southwest coast. I have not decided where to go after the yoga retreat. I am told and have been reading that the island is really fun with lots or rave like parties and fantastic beaches. So I might just stay there and then spend the last few days in Bangkok checking that out. I hear that the city is really cool and a must see. So I will do that at the end of the trip. I am really looking forward to it.

I had a total melt down in Seattle while I was there. I had to deal with a woman who might possibly be evil incarnate. So the Motorcycle trip got scrapped. I headed down to Las Vegas to hang with Terri and fam. It was good. I still feel like I am trying to find myself. I tried out a few yoga studios one was a Korean style yoga which was good but not really what I was looking for. I then found another place that was simply fantastic.

To me Las Vegas has always been a terribly depressing place. So many people go there with hopes and dreams that they will get rich, so many have terrible gambling and alcohol problems losing everything and living a very pathetic existence. However, this trip I was more of a local and not a tourist. So I did not even go to the Strip (I actually rarely go there anyway). I sought out another Yoga studio and actually found that there are a lot of genuine people in Las Vegas, and the Yoga was really genuine. I was afraid of a hollow practice where the instructors really didn't get the connection of the earth, universe and body through your exercise. Actually, in China that is how the Chinese teachers are. They don't understand the spirituality that goes along with yoga, the healing and cleansing power. They know the mechanics well but don't understand the process. That is why Marc and I always preferred the classes with the Indian teachers. Anyway, I felt that the teachers in Vegas were going to be the same. I was totally wrong. I took 5 different classes, all at varying levels, with 4 different teachers, I found a place where I felt comfortable and content. Even though I got teary after most of my classes as yoga, for me, forces one to look inside of yourself and evaluate, analyze and purify. The tears were actually cleansing.

I also made some connections with some of the people at the studio teachers and students alike. I found a place, if only for a short time. I was so sad to leave. That is why I am really considering moving there. It is in the same city as my best friend and we have never lived in the same city. It is near my family who I feel I need a lot right now even though I drive them crazy and they drive me crazy. I love them. I miss my sisters and I feel that I could be a great influence on their lives if I am nearer to them. I can also help my parents out a bit more with them. I will talk more of my plans for the future later as they are still changing. I at least know that I want to go back if only for a year or so. Marc has taken so much from we I need to refuel.

I then went to San Diego and had a great few days. It was not enough time. My dad took me to a baseball game, like old times except the Padres have a new stadium and they won. So it was a great night all around. Then I had the girls for a day because it was my parent's 45th wedding anniversary. I wanted them to have some alone time. They had fun and so did we. We made a bouquet of flowers out of cut out hand prints and pipe cleaners. It was really fun and they turned out really cute. I don't have a picture to post. I will have to get one from my dad and put it up later. Thanks to Terri it was her idea, the arts and crafts queen. Then the three of us walked to the park and played for a few hours. I realized that Hayley is fearless, which is frightening, she was all ready to slide down this really tall pole by herself. Scared the crap out of me. But I was able to get her to change her mind and stick to the lower parts of the jungle gym. Mak was great and wore herself out. We had a great day. It was funny because my dad had said the day before that he didn't think I could handle them. I told him he was underestimating me. I was fine and we had a great time.

Then we went to Disneyland and had a great day. I have not been there in a really long time and it was fun. Then my parents went home and I stayed in Anaheim because I was flying out from LAX on Monday night to come back to China. The tickets we bought enabled us to go to California Adventure Park, the second park in the Disney complex, the next day for free. So my brother, Darrell, drove up and we went together on Monday. I had never been to that park. They has some cool stuff. It focuses more on adults with a few kids things. The food was way better there and My brother and I had an awesome lunch at the "winery". A nice bottle of wine to accompany lunch. It was a good day.

There was one ride that is designed around Twilight Zone (the old Rod Serling hosted TV show). I had no idea what to expect. It is an elevator that takes you up and then drops you. Scared the shit out of me as the drop is in the dark and I had no idea they would drop us so violently because we only had small seat belts on. It was great. I think I must have bruised Darrell's leg because I couldn't find the Oh Shit handles and his leg was the only thing I could find in the dark. It was really funny.

It was Monday after spring break and the park was pretty empty so we finished and headed to Disney town for a drink and a bit of shopping before he took me to the Airport. It was fun. Our trip to the airport was difficult as I thought that it was on I-5 when in fact, it is on 405. OOOPs. SO we got a great tour of LA. I got on the plane with no trouble and back to China.

When I returned I packed up the remaining stuff I had a t Marc's apartment and I am out. It was kind of sad, actually really sad. It also didn't help that some bimbo girl came to the door looking for him. That was hard and hurtful but what else can I expect. Later I got a call from a very good friend that I had met in the south when i was doing my safety training for the rig. He was in Beijing for the night and wanted to hang out. It was a great night. I took him to Tienanmen Square and to Wang Fu Jing (a lively shopping street). He convinced me to do this bungie thing where you are strapped into a ball in the middle and the bungies are stretched out really far then the ball is let go and you fly really high into the air. That part didn't scare me it was when we cam back down because the ball shifts and you face the ground whild you are falling. I was so scared but it was totally worth it. We bought the video of us screaming and ha said he would make a copy for me. I will post it if I can in the future. It was insane. We then went to a really cool middle eastern food restaurant. He is Iraqi so he knew all the best food to order. I wasn't really hungry because I was totally jet lagged and I always lose my appetite. But we drank a bunch. We then headed to a dance club and got down. It has been so long since I have danced with a guy that actually has some rhythm. It was so much fun. I didn't actually get back to the hotel until nearly 3 and then was up at 6 again to go to work. Oh well, I can sleep when I am dead.

That brings me sort of up to date. See you soon.

A BAD PLACE

I know it has been ages since I wrote last, I am not going to make any excuses though. I am in a really dark place right now just trying to find some peace and some sanity. As I said at the beginning of this blog, I didn't want this to be a place full of sadness but because that is all I have right now, I can't talk about my experiences.

Maybe in the future you will see me. I just don't know when. I will thank those friends who have really stuck by me, Terri and Heather mainly. In times like these you really see who your true friends are.
Thanks

I am back!

Hi everyone! I feel badly that I have not posted in a month. The reasons?? you might ask, are many. I had limited access to the Internet in London and I was only there for a few days, then when I was in Germany I spent most of my time reading a few awesome books, Wicked by Gregory McGuire, the Wild Swans by Jung Chang, both fantastic books. I also figured that I wouldn't get a lot of reading done in Nottingham as my Aunt and Uncle have the TV on all the time and it is impossible for me to read with the TV noise in the background. So I figured that I would be able to use the Internet there. I was wrong and was not welcome to use it there so then again I only had limited access. Finally, I did not take my computer with me so my journaling was done by hand in a note book. I will have to get those entries into the computer and post them.

Anyway, I have a ton things I want to say. I went on a pub crawl in Nottingham which was both great and really depressing as I realized towards the end of the night that I am alone and have to start over again. It sucks. I never thought I would be here again, I thought Marc was the one.

I also got in touch with a friend from the UW, Poppy. "Hello!" if you are reading this. I hope to further that relationship as she is a lovely girl and I am happy that she is my friend. In fact, I have realized that many people that I have met in the past are really good people and I didn't let them in enough to my life and should have worked a little harder to embrace them into my life and make better friends of them.

I went to Germany and had a wonderful time. Now my friends there and I are planning a motorcycle trip in the US in October. I hope it all works out. I am really dying to ride again. I miss my motorcycle. I am thinking that I will return to the US in March because I need to get some legal advice ont he divorce proceedings and that will incorporate a motorcycle trip as well.

And finally, I returned to China, wow that was an adventure, I will tell you all about it in a later blog. Let's just say it took me 4 days of traveling to get to the rig including an unplanned day in the capital of inner Mongolia, Hou Hot(not sure of the spelling). I was totally exhausted and am still battling jet lag but I have been really bad by sleeping in the day time and staying up way to late at night. I will be forced to get over it tomorrow as I have a full day of teaching. Then every day after that until next Sunday.

So, If I have not written to you and I owe you a mail, you will get it this week. I will also try to get caught up on my European adventure here in the blog. It actually was quite tame. I discovered a lot about myself and realized that I really did not have much to do with the break up. Much of it is because of my former partner's inability to communicate and deep buried baggage which I had no way of realizing how severely it cripples him in relationships. It makes me sad that I was so blind, but I guess that love does that to you. Also, when you want something so badly and love someone so fully you tend to ignore the signs.

Enough about that. I do want to thank all of my friends who have offered their support and I will hopefully be able to see you all soon. I do not intend to stop traveling as that was not only something that Marc and I enjoyed doing together, it is also something that I am simply addicted to even without Marc. So I will continue to travel and eventually find my bliss and see you all agian in the process.

Still in Germany

This weekend was spent in Garmisch, a small ski town on the border of Austria and Germany. Unfortunately because Europe has not seen much snow this year the skiing was really bad and we decided not to ski at all. It actually was to my relief because I have not skiied in years and was terrified to do it again. I am a snowborder and can do that just fine. Skiing is just so much harder. We decided to hang out at the indoor pool and sauna at the hotel instead. It was quite nice and relaxing, I also am reading the book 'Wicked' by Gregory McGuire, which is quite good. Also because the musical in London was so fantastic i just had to read the book. The stories are quite different, of course the book is better but the music from the musical was simply fantastic. I really want to see it again, SOON!

I made a funny new discovery while we were in Garmisch at the sauna. So Christoph and I went swimming because Marion wanted to take a nap. We went to the pool and swam for a bit. I then read for a bit and Christoph went to the Sauna. When he came back I decided to go and sit in the little hot room too. I walked into one door and there standing and sitting infront of me were about 5 naked men. I thought that I had walked into the incorrect side, that this was the men's side. Ooops! So I immediatley turned around and headed to the other door, which I thought was the woman's side. There again was a pleoretha of naked men. HUMMMMM???? However, I had seen women walking into the door before I walked in so I thought that this had to be right. I put on my brave shoes and kept walking in. Sure enough, I was not immediately escorted out and soon saw a few other women in a similar state of undress. I knew that if i turned around and walked out I would look more conspicious so I decided to do as the Romans would do. I got naked and walked in to the sauna. At first it was really weird. Everyone was just sitting spread eagle in the sauna enjoying themselves (relaxing), both men and women. I did the same, and soon the discomfort ended. It was a nice sauna and i enjoyed it.

I will just add another international experience to my book of uncomfortable learning experiences. For all of you who are too shy to get naked infront of total strangers at a spa, I don't recommend going to Germany for a spa vacation but for those who realize that being nude is just another state then you will be fine. Once I figured out the course of action, I was fine.

Made it to Germany

I arrived in Germany yesterday after a very expensive 2 days in London. WOW, that city can kill you. I paid $4 for a bottle of water at the airport, just insane. I do understand why i am always so reluctant to go there unless i have a place to stay with friends.

I saw two shows, Wicked and Avenus Q. Both were fantastic for differnt reasons. Wicked, had just a lovely story, the costumes were simply amazing and the music was pretty good too. Avenue Q was hysterical. It is a puppet show with adult humor. Really funny. I would see it again for sure.

The ground here in Passeu is covered in snow and beautiful. We are going to the mountains tonight for a few days maybe to ski. Not too sure. I have not skiied in years so i am a bit nervous about that anyway. We are going to some MRI convention as my friend is a radiologist here in Germany. Maybe I will get lucky and meet a nice radiologist. bahh, not to keen on meeting any guys right now. It will be nice and relaxing anyway hanging out with my friends.

I got a flu the day before i was leaving the rig and wow it was a doosy. I am still coughing. Hopefully today that will be the last day of it.

I am here for about a week, enjoying the snow and cold weather. Then back to England to visit Nottingham where my uncle, aunt and various cousins live. that should be fun.

On my way to Europe

Well gang, after a truly horrendous 2 months I think I am feeling a bit better. Maybe it is because I am off to Europe for a month to see family and friends who love me, maybe it is because I am off the rig or maybe it is because my eyes just can't cry any more tears. Either way I am beginning to see the glimmer of light that is starting to come back into my life. A hint of hope after such a terrible trauma.

This is my new place on the web. Since I can not access Live Journal through the ConocoPhillips intranet computers I have had to change to this new blog site. I like google so I think it will serve well and this site is not blocked by the evil oil company. Posting is still a little bit of a pain in butt because of the earthquake that happened in Taiwan a little time ago. Not only is the internet slow on the mainland, it is insufferable out on the boat where everything comes to us via satellite. It drives me crazy. It is so terribly slow and sometimes doesn't work at all. I can, however access this site and will do my best to keep it updated regularly.

Also, I have not posted to the other site in the past 2 months because I didn't have anything good to say and I didn't want to bring that negativity to my site. I want this to be a good and happy site, something that will help me get through this terrible loss.

As I said, I am off to Europe for the month. I will spend the first few days in London, where luckily enough 'Wicked' is playing at the Apollo Victoria. I have been wanting to see this musical for over a year and when I was in New York last year I couldn't get tickets. Lets just hope that I can get tickets in London. I am so excited about this show. I just read another book by the author , Gregory McGuire who inspired this tale, and it was really a fun read. That coupled with the fact that it is a musical, how can I go wrong? I will also revisit the British Museum to take in the Roman, Egyptian, and of course, Greek collections, which are simply fantastic.

From London, I head to Germany. I will visit some lovely friends that I have known for some years through the motorcycling club that I have ridden with in the past. They live near Passau, Germany in Bavaria near Strasbourg. It should be wonderful there as they have been dumped on by snow in the last few weeks. Maybe get in some downhill skiing or snowboarding and certainly some cross country skiing.

Then I am going to the Midlands, where my Uncle Vic and Auntie Shirley live. I will also get to visit with my cousin Karen there. Then maybe a short trip up to Scotland to visit my other Cousin Norman and his wife Shiona and their gaggle of children and grandchildren. Whew! I am sure the time will pass way to quickly.

Anyway, I welcome you to comment as you have done in the past. I love to hear from all of you!